Family Guy Threesome
by Reborn-Nightmares
Summary: Rated M for a reason. Basically, Stewie winds up with the flock, and he, Iggy, and Max end up in a hotel room. Humor. Oneshot. Pointless fluff.


**A/N: I'm a random, horney teen, and you can't blame me.**

**So here's a little two-shot with Family Guy and the Flock.**

**Mostly Iggy, Stewie, Fang and Max.**

**Yes, Stewie.**

**Claimer: I own this! NO STEALING! I swear, if you steal, I will come to your house with Lois and Stewie the Ax Murderers, and beat you within an inch of your life. The Family Guy Threesome is MINEMINEMINE!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lois and Stewie or the Flock. So sad.**

* * *

**The Family Guy Threesome- Chapter 1**

"Stewie, it's time for your bath!" Lois called from the bathroom.

"Never, you evil woman! I have created a teleportation module to get me the hell out of this show!" Stewie called, entering a random code into his new machine, and jumping in.

--

"What- what... where the hell am I? What is this horrid place?! Why, it's even more of a hell-hole than the womb!" Stewie called, blinking around and looking at the dog crate he was in.

"What's this?" Stewie said, eyeing the three dimensional world for the first time, "Why, it's- it's, it's like a whole new world! There's no more black line about my figure! This is, this is simply, just simply glorious! I must explore!"

He pressed in a new code into his machine, finding himself in a cave... but not alone.

Six eyes stared at Stewies awed figure, mirroring his expression.

"Guys? What happened?" Iggy called.

There was a short pause, as Stewie took in his surroundings... and the creatures' wings.

"It's... it's... it's STEWIE! Oh, my gosh, I've been wanting to watch that show again, what's it called, oh yeah, Family Guy, ever since I saw it at Anne's! Like, I love how out of nowhere, all the characters pull out guns and shoot people! It's so-"

"Oh yeah! Those are awesome! They should add some bombs though... and fart more!"

"I agree with you on the bombs, but they fart enough as it is..."

Fang and Max just stared at each other.

Throughout the room, a small voice was heard.

_Max, Fang, it's a cartoon character. What happened? Stewie, why are you... real?_

"What in the name of Satan was that?!" Stewie yelled, shocked by the sudden voice in his head.

"Me!" Angel yelled.

While the younger ones of the flock and Iggy were ooh-ing and aw-ing at the cartoon character, Max and Fang went into a small corner.

"What the..." Max said.

Fang eyebrows were slightly raised, a sign of utter shock.

"Okay... so how did a CARTOON get to be with the flock?" Max said, gesturing towards the tiny baby with the misformed head.

"Fuck." Fang muttered.

"What?" Max said, waking from her trance.

In reply, Fang simply shook his head.

"Back the hell off! I have a gun!" Stewie yelled in a useless attempt to get the flock away from him.

"Oh, thanks! I always wanted one!" Iggy said, grabbing the gun.

"What- what, no! Give that back!" Stewie called, reaching for the shiny metal object.

There was a loud crash as Fang's foot stomped over the gun. He leaned back against the wall, with a slight twitch of his mouth.

The bottom of Fang's sneaker was slightly charred.

"So... want to have a threesome?" Stewie's voice echoed through the cave.

"What the fuck?!" Fang said, shooting Stewie the bird.

"I'm in!" Iggy called.

"What the hell, Ig! And... how did you even get here? I wonder..." Max's voice trailed off.

"Yeah! Woot! Let's get a hotel!" Iggy yelled, while all the younger members of the flock stared between Max, Iggy and Stewie in disgust.

"What the hell, Max?" Fang yelled.

With that, he flew off.

Max turned to fly after him, cut off by Stewie's words.

"He smashed the transporter, so he'll keep randomly popping up next to that... farting kid. Screw him, let's do it!"

"May I point out one small thing? You're a freakin baby." Max said, walking after Fang slowly.

"Do not underestimate my reproductive organs, Maximum." Stewie said, wiggling his eyebrows.

There was silence.

"What the hell." Max said, flying off to find a hotel.

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**A/N: Mua-ha-ha! Totally OOC except for Fang, Nudge, Gazzy, and Iggy the perv, but still.**

**Teeheehee, the threesome comes up next... I'm getting you guys kinky before you get it. Muahaha.**

**...**

**This is totally sick and wrong, but it's funny.**

**M for a freakin' reason!**

**-Trajet D'ete**


End file.
